December 2003

             

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More from http://www.theonion.com

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             Yes, I know it's off topic, but it is after all my website:


Be careful when you move your product into a foreign-language market. Thanks to TH for sending us the following. (We haven't checked them. In fact, we suspect that some of them are apocryphal. But if they aren't true, we wish they would be.)

The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "a female horse stuffed with wax" (depending on the dialect). Coke researched 40,000 Chinese characters and finally found a close phonetic equivalent -- ko-kou-ko-le -- which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth."

In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead."

In another Chinese translation, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off."

When General Motors introduced the Chevy Nova in South America, it was apparently unaware that in Spanish "no va" means "it won't go." When the company figured out why it wasn't selling any cars, it re-named the Nova the "Caribe" in its Spanish markets.

Ford had a similar problem in Brazil when the Pinto flopped. They discovered that "Pinto" is Brazilian slang for "tiny male genitals." Ford pried off the Pinto nameplates and substituted "Corcel," which means "horse."

Chicken-man Frank Perdue's slogan "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken" got terribly mangled in another Spanish translation. A photo of Perdue with one of his birds appeared on billboards all over Mexico with a caption that translated as "It takes a tough man to make a chicken aroused."

Hunt-Wesson introduced its Big John products in French Canada as "Gros Jos" before finding out that the phrase, in slang, means "big breasts." In this case, however, the error in translation did not have a noticeable effect on sales.

and besides, who knows? Maybe The Legend of Crazy George translated into Cantonese means "Crazy George Kills With Laughter"

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             The rabbit played a prominent role in the Cherokee myths. It was always a trickster and deceiver, usually malicious and often beaten at his own game, and by those he intended to victimize.

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             Adam Brookfield wore his Pajamas every day for six weeks

Charles Long by himself lifted an iron cattle guard that 3 men could not move. He is also part Cherokee Indian.

Ree Mitchell drove a three on the tree for the first time on the set.

Debbie Rochon ate her first Tennessee ice cream sandwich.

Andrea Collins felt her face melting while sitting in the back seat of the '66 Plymouth Belevedre.

Quenton Dyer liked to have died after being wrapped in packing blankets and tossed in a pickup truck

Sean Cunningham is a descendant of Confederate raider Champ Ferguson.

Bob Mansfield was a Nashville Policeman.

Eric Strahan thinks he’s a ice cream bar, he’s always too hot.

Chris Vanling plays 4 or 5 parts in the film, depending on how you count bunnies.

Soundman Kevin Lovelette reports “Hell is hot”

Soundman Zack Bursmyer has recently returned from Kenya where he reports he saw “stuff”.

McCaleb says changing diapers is "not hard really."

Jimmy Kelley has some horror films lined up.

Paul Sharp is hard at it with the IWF wrestling.

I have no idea what Ken Gumm, Dee Prince, Mark Sanders, and Dave Johnson are doing. I fear they me plotting an invasion of Kentucky.

I have begun to write 3 scripts simultaneously (Lengend of Crazy Geo II, Vikings, and a Greek tragedy.) I’ll be looking for some crazy people for the first, and an army for the second and third.

I can also report that Jen Richardson’s new album will be out soon – "two more songs to go"

please note November 3rd log has been revised to reflect growing concerns & rumours surrounding the Halloween Premiere.

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             Have you seen the bigger piggies,
In their starched white shirts
You will find the bigger piggies,
Stirring up the dirt...
Always have clean shirts to play around in

In their sties with all their backing
They don't care what goes on around
In their eyes there's something lacking
What they need's a darn good whacking...

- George Harrison, R.I.P

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             "Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!"
LEWIS CAROLL (Alice Through the Looking Glass)

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             If 'Ought' were a person, it would not be a bartender or a
good-hearted whore. Ought is not the kind of word you would
want to hang out with on a Saturday night... or relax with
at home - for it would always be reminding you to take out
the trash or fix the garage door.

If it were a Latin noun, Ought would be feminine, but more
like a wife than a mistress. For Ought is judgmental... a
nag, a scold. Even the sound of it is sharp... it comes up
from the throat like a dagger and heads right for soft
tissue, remembering the location of weak spots and raw
nerves for many years.

Ought is neither a good-time girl nor boom-time companion,
but more like the I-told-you-so who hands you aspirin on
Sunday morning... tells you what a fool you were... and warns
you what will happen if you keep it up. "You get what you
deserve," she reminds you.

A man who lets himself be bossed around by Ought is no man
at all, in our opinion. He is a dullard, a wimp, and a
wuss... a logical, rational, reasonable lump. Thankfully,
most men, most of the time, will not readily submit.
Instead, they do not what they ought to do, but what they
want to do. Stirred up by mob sentiments or private
desires, they make fools of themselves regularly. Besides,
they can't help themselves.

Of course, Ms. Ought is right; they get what they deserve.
But sometimes it is worth it.

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             "Do not be critics, you people, I beg you. I was a critic and I wish
I could take it all back because it came from a smelly and
ignorant place in me and spoke with a voice that was all rage and
envy. Do not dismiss a book until you have written one, and do
not dismiss a movie until you have made one, and do not dismiss a
person until you have met them. It is a ****load of work to be
open-minded and generous and understanding and forgiving and
accepting, but, Christ, that is what matters. What matters is
saying yes."

-Dave Eggers in the Summer issue of "The Harvard Advocate."
Eggers' memoir is *A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering
Genius.*

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             In some Ukraine dialects the word for wormwood is chernobyl.

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             Luis Buñuel (1900)-1983)

Spanish writer-director who worked in France in the 20s and 30s, made many films in Mexico 1945-1960, then returned to Europe. A once- notorious surrealist, his later films mocked hypocrisy and shows of religion.

Autobiography, 1984, My Last Breath

Known for making surrealism irresistible by mixing it with deft film-making techniques and suave direction of actors. The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie.

“I’ve always found insects exciting.” – LB

He once had a Mexican producer say to him: ‘There’s no more money. We’ll have to stop the film.’ And just where any other director in the history of film would have said: ‘You’re killing me! I’m the greatest director in the world! You can’t do this to me!” Buñuel looked at him and said: ‘O.K., then. We’ll finish it tonight.’ – Michel Piccoli

Halliwell's: Who's Who in the Movies

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             Our very own Andrea Collins has her own modeling website up & running!

http://www.andiecollins.rocks.it/

She is incredible - she has neumonia but shows up to do Chris Vanling's movie anyway - She is a Viking!

and there's a new reality series that puts 12 strangers on a island where the South won the Civil War:

http://www.theonion.com/3947/news1.html


ALSO: Listen to the entire Just An American Boy soundtrack and watch music videos and clips from the documentary @

http://www.steveearle.com/media/jaabecard.html

for those who can't get enough:

Q. Why did Michael Jackson phone Boyz-II-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.

Q. Why can you always win a race with Michael Jackson?
A. Because he always likes to come in a little behind.


Amazon Customer reccommendations on Michael Jackson:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/stores/detail/-/music/B0000DJE9R/advice/

Thanks to POPBITCH!

*** Those readers still with faith in science and the perfection
of man by rational thinking may find these items from the English
press interesting: First, a "holy man" from India says he has
neither eaten nor drunk for 70 years. Medical science took his
claim as a challenge and put him in a sealed hospital room for 11
days under constant surveillance, reports The Times of London. To
their amazement, the man neither ate nor drank... yet still
seemed to be in perfect health. No explanation was offered by
science, but the holy man said that he had been visited by
spirits as a child and given the gift.

Balanced against this apparent affront to science was another
article from Germany detailing an excess of rationalism. A man
apparently went onto the Internet to a site specializing in
cannibalism and offered himself up as a meal. His offer was
accepted. According to the report, he was slaughtered, cut up and
eaten by another German. The Polizei are looking in to it.

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