[
2:10PM
] [ monkey
] [ Things to kill you
]
Some things that will kill you in Tennessee: Rattle snake, Cotton Mouth Water moccasin, Copperhead snake, black widow spider, brown recluse spider, scorpion, radio active waste, polluted water, and Crazy George.
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[
8:30PM
] [ mccaleb
] [ Youngest Planet
]
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[
8:25AM
] [ monkey
] [ German beer
]
Capt. John Jackson, Wisconsin
I landed in Wisconsin last night. Julia met me at the airport and we stayed in LaCrosse. I didn't want to look at anyone in a uniform for a couple of hours. Anyway, I'll head to McCoy this morning and begin the demobilization. Lichi told me it can take over a week but then I'll be heading home. I caught a flight from Anaconda to Germany. I didn't get there early enough to get a flight to the states. The billeting was full so I had to stay in a hotel by the airport. Pretty nice, huh? I hung out in the bar and made some friends with 2 retired couples on vacation. The old birds went to bed kind of early so I hung out with the 2 dudes in their 70's drinking German beer. Odd but fun. Then yesterday morning I caught a civilian flight to Chicago then to here. Everything I said about Wisconsin, I now take back. Man its nice to see trees again, and not those shit palm trees but lush vegetation. Well I need to get my morning started. Eventually I will be declared AWOL so I guess I'll go get a cup of coffee and give them back all of their shit. Thank you everyone for your email support and prayers. It made all the difference. Bad places and bad times really help you appreciate a truly blessed life with amazing family and friends. I love you all,
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[
1:42AM
] [ Marcel DuBois
] [ farenheit 9/11
]
Congratulations due to Michael Moore, his documentary having just one the covetted palm d'or at the Cannes Film Festival. The jury was largely made up of Americans yet this film cannot be distributed in the USA. The reason: It may influence the outcome of the next US election. Why? Because it shows gee dubya up as the dumbass he really is!
see also: "What the US government knew about 9.11 before it happened" in the fantastic disinformation book "Everything you know is wrong" God bless America, and god help Iraq.
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[
6:08PM
] [ mccaleb
] [ More mad bunnies
]
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[
11:17PM
] [ mccaleb
] [ feeling the pinch?
]
A Shell gas station owner put up this sign again in Menlo Park, Calif., Monday, May 17, 2004 as gas prices raise in the area. The owner put up the sign last year when prices climbed. (AP Photo/Paul Sakuma)
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[
2:58PM
] [ infiniphonic
] [ Anne's words to the world 5 17 04
]
Happy birthday to Kevin!
We have received news at the Herald-Citizen about the murdered teens from Baxter. The police department has new evidence in the case that points the blame to a man wearing a large, crotchless bunny suit. The police believe he is armed and dangerous. If anyone has any pertinent evidence in this case, please call Crime Stoppers.
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[
1:53PM
] [ monkey
] [ Fright Factory Rumors
]
Rumors are that Police are investigating the murder of four Baxter teenagers at the old Wilson Factory. The murders are reported to be related to cult activity or witchcraft as the bones of 15 dead cows were found hanging from the ceiling of the factory’s basement. Witnesses reported strange activities at the Factory in the month of October 2001, but police say they did not have probable cause to take action at that time. The original report states that three men were seen removing six-foot bundles wrapped in black plastic from the factory at about 12AM. The first man wore black and had his face painted blue, the second man was dressed in camouflage and had horns coming out of his face, while the third man was a clown in a big hat with a feather. Witnesses claim creatures, which appeared to be demons, aided the men; police claim this is why they ignored the report in the first place.
Detectives attempted to contact the owner of the building who was unavailable because he no longer lives in Cookeville. Police also attempted to interview the tenants Mr. Maddusx who has moved from Baxter and Mr. McCakeb who has moved from Cookeville. Authorities are currently seeking a man known as Crazy George for questioning. 
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[
10:14PM
] [ monkey
] [ TROY
]
Emergency Notice: Under no circumstances should any cast or crewmember permit Adam Brookfield (Tommy) to watch Troy. He is far too refined and well educated to endure this Hollywood “epic”. I fear his head would explode and I won’t permit that to happen, unless I can get it on film.
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[
5:38PM
] [ mccaleb
] [ 3 things
]
1. Maddux has a front page up for his new Harley Davidson dealership in Maryville. Smoky Mountain Harley Davidson Those who've seen the preview will recognize Maddux's voice over in the wrasslin' scene - he's the one screaming T.K.! T.K.! Oh no, not T.K.!
2. Crusaders made it to the Super12 Championship game once again - playing the Brumbies in Canberra this weekend. Go the Crusaders! 3. TMT.com has registered it's 350,000th hit! fuckin' A keep telling your friends - keep spreading the word & thank you.
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[
1:05PM
] [ monkey
] [ Wacko Attacko, Response #1
]
taken from MichaelMoore.com
Tuesday, May 11th, 2004 Wacko Attacko, Response #1 While my new film Fahrenheit 9/11 has not been seen yet, it seems to have already generated a wee bit of interest. Here's the latest. This morning, a columnist for the Wall Street Journal Ð who has not seen the film - has decided, instead, to review a "synopsis" of the film. That's right, a "synopsis" from a fax of an early version of a press release someone gave him from the studio. Based on this, he accuses the film of being inaccurate. But guess what? Everything he says about the film in his column is completely false. I mean, seriously, NOTHING of what he describes is in the film! Most real journalists would be embarrassed to do such a thing. What's next - "I can't see the film, I can't see the synopsis - so I'm reviewing the poster!" I worry that Fahrenheit 9/11 is already driving otherwise sane people to lunacy. What would you expect from the WSJ, the biggest pro-business, pro-war paper in the country. As they so aptly put in their paper today: "The bad news is that in today's freewheeling media environment, consumers seem increasingly unable to distinguish truth from fiction, news from polemic, reality from fantasy." This morning, they proved their own adage to be correct. They gave us fiction, not the truth. Here's a radical idea: Why don't we wait for the film to come out before attacking it? I promise you the film is much better than the "synopsis." - Michael Moore
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[
1:55PM
] [ monkey
] [ "son-of-a....."
]
Capt. John Jackson, Iraq
Wow its freaking hot here. The thermometer read 117 deg. yesterday. Of course that was in the sun, I'm sure it can't be more then 114 in the shade. 117 deg, it sounds like the temp to slow cook a turkey. We are still in long sleeves. I think it is because of the bugs but during the day, the bugs have better sense then to come out when its that hot. We went over to the Air Force's gym. Oh man, why the hell didn't I talk to those guys before going army?? They are cruising around, on their day off, in shorts and soft caps. Mean while, we are walking around with long sleeves and full armor. I'm pretty jealous. Any way, their gym is pretty swank, too. Man, those guys have way too much money. I'm pretty pleased we found it. So Sunday is my official day off. I got teased Friday for actually saying, out loud, "Man I can't wait til my day off to get caught up on work." Shit, that's a pretty sad state of affairs. It's pretty tough living in the same building as the patients. I get up (from working) to go take a leak and I'll get, "hey doc can I talk to you?" I look at my watch, 8:30 PM (that's 20:30 for you military types), think of my paper work, and then say, "sure, give me a minute". As I walk back mumbling "son-of-a....." "What's that doc?" "hmmm, nothing I was just saying it's hot today." It's difficult stealing a minute for myself these days. I've actually began to hide in my room til after curfew before I go take a leak. Note to self, living with patients is not a good idea for private practice. So I'm living in the same building, using the same bathroom, and sharing the shower. Got to be a first in psychiatry. So, you'll be toweling off and get, "hey doc can I catch up with you in a minute?" "Sure, how would you like to do this? Me with some drawers, in a towel, or shall we just continue with me in my birthday suit", and trailing of with, "son-of-a...." "What's that doc?" "I said it's HOT today." My replacement arrived today. YESSSS!!!!!!!!! Oh man, he looks like he's been sitting in a dry sauna and someone just kicked him in the nuts. Poor bastard. I was moon walking around the building and heard him say, "son-of-a..." I looked at him and said, "huh?" He said, "it's hot today". It sure is, sucker. This does not mean that I'm going to get paroled early but it does ensure I will get out on time. Hot damn. The light is peeking out of the tunnel and I think it's sunshine.
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[
5:12PM
] [ mccaleb
] [ Andy Kaufman
]
George Furman is the Man on the Moon
 Paul & Carlene Sharp of the IWF send their greetings to the monkey
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[
6:18PM
] [ mccaleb
] [ ANTI-THEFT DEVICE
]
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[
5:14PM
] [ mccaleb
] [ NEWSFLASH
]
BUNNY ALERT.
It seems the evil bunny killer is up to no good. After doing his work behind the scenes of the Legend of Crazy George, it would appear he has gone on to self-produce some material of his own!  ALSO: Among items found by police who raided Neverland was a crotchless, adult-sized plushy bunny suit.
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[
5:25PM
] [ infiniphonic
] [ My Name
]
My name is Kevin Lovellette and that is how it is spelled.
And oh yes,the wedding was indeed fantastic. Congratulations to Josh and Elizabeth! You wish you had been drinking NEHI Grape while reading this don't you?  This picture depicts infiniphonic and his woman Anne Cathey attending Josh and Elizabeths wedding in Smithville Tennessee. I think infiniphonic had been drinking.
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[
4:53PM
] [ mccaleb
] [ post
]
Added pictures from wedding below. Love & congrats to Josh & Elizibeth!
I'm reasonably certain that Kevin's name is spelled L o v e l l e t t e, at least that's what it says in the credits. but the monkey keeps spelling different so maybe I'm wrong. Wouldn't be the first time. Dave Gibson (Gibson Group, NZ - see previous post) wrote to say he was keen to see the film even though he was thoroughly disgusted by the trailer. Or because he was disgusted, I'm not sure, but I am sure of one thing - I haven't seen a NEHI Grape since I arrived in NZ. Obviously, an international conspiracy. If ANYONE HAS SEEN THIS PERSON - PLEASE CALL 911 IMMEDIATELY, DO NOT APPROACH HIS AS HE IS ARMED WITH A RUBBER DUCK & CONSIDERED EXTREMELY DANGEROUS BY THE AUTHORITIES. 
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[
4:26PM
] [ monkey
] [ NEHI SCANDAL NEWS
]
The Univ Big Star Grocery has a soda machine with a Nehi Grape button. I inserted 35 cents as instructed, hit the button with a firm and deliberate poke and out rolled a Welches Grape soda. The FUCKERS! The god damn FUCKERS!
I drank the Welches soda and as soon as I can find Scott Maddux and four witches, I'm going to Crazy George's bridge. We'll perform the ritual and hide the bodies in Sparta.
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[
1:30PM
] [ monkey
] [ Wedding of Josh & Elizabeth
]
The wedding of bass player Elizabeth Hawkins and Guitarist Josh Wright (Fist full of Crows) took place at the reclusive lakeside resort in Smithville TN. The modern wedding was elegant and the vows were heartfelt; even Moby the “best dog” had things to express.
Though the wedding guests were dominantly made of musicians from Tennessee’s underworld of the underground, I did see actors there from the Legend of Crazy George. Eric Strahan (Chef) was present and we had a vital discussion about the difference between a clan and tribal tartan for a kilt. Eric went with the tribal tartan.  Bob Mansfield (Lyle) showed with his lovely date, Shakespearian actress Amy Hembree. Bob and I talked long and hard about cheap 9mm gamming in cold weather, the combat shotgun, the M14 VS M16 and the possibility of a new weapon for the US Army, the proper use of force by the police and the most common ways cops get shot.  Zack Buersmyer and Senator Fist (Whiskutzel Records) were groomsmen at the wedding.   We didn’t talk much because they were busy breaking the whisky embargo. The last I saw of Zack he was naked and chasing woman around a hot tub. The Senator fell under the influence of a beautiful French spy who could not fake a Tennessee accent or hide the smell of croissants on her breath. I shared a reception table with Kevin Lavellett (sound) and his love Anne. Anne has recently been made editor of the Life Style section for the Herald-Citizen. I was pleased to hear Cookeville had a life style and immediately brought up my concerns about the NEHI SCANDLE; Anne promised to published my finding in the paper. Kevin continues his groundbreaking work with PBS and is working with Jen Richardson on her new album as well. CONGRATULATIONS JOSH AND ELIZABETH!
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